http://www.theonion.com/articles/osns-tips-for-turning-your-nfl-season-around,34082/?utm_source=Twitter&utm_medium=SocialMarketing&utm_campaign=Quote:2:Default

Heading into week five, there are 10 NFL
franchises with a 1-3 or worse record. Here are some surefire tips for
teams to get their seasons back on track:

  • Remember, it’s
    never too late to turn your season around, unless of course you’re an
    NFL team that started 0-4, at which point it’s time to start thinking
    draft strategy.
  • Visualize going 8-8.
  • Take it one game at a time. Then if you’re feeling lucky, go ahead and take it four or five games at a time.
  • In your pregame speech, explain to your players that this team is like a big ship. They’ll know what you mean.
  • Learn the value of teamwork: +0.72 wins per season, on average.
  • All you need is heart, desire, and a brand-new roster loaded with Pro Bowl–level talent.
  • If
    Greg Schiano, Rex Ryan, Leslie Frazier, Todd Haley, or Marty Mornhinweg
    are part of your coaching staff, fire them immediately.
  • Abandon narrow-minded measurement of success in terms of wins and losses.
  • Ask any of the nation’s incredibly knowledgeable sports columnists for their expertise.
  • Create bulletin board material to motivate your players by openly talking about how much they suck during press conferences.
  • Just wait it out until Von Miller is back from suspension.
  • Remember that this is a league in which a shitty 10-6 team with Joe Flacco at quarterback can win a Super Bowl.